Sometime the way words mix memory and desire in some pseudo-random, uniform distributed fashion that every conditional rationality starts to elude me in countless ripple and I find myself somewhere out there, losing me in the chipped corners of my heart inside the soul geomerty that have marched on this time's faultless serenade only to leave pieces of dust and smudged fingerprints into the emptiness of no answer.
In these hours when people's heart weigh more than the Earth Mass, I find myself with my hands open, heart out rearranging hopeful sentences that can't be measured up neither can withstand any distance put between them and chasing down people who do not want to be found or profess absolutes (even though i have learnt not to). I let the nostalgia sip in and your dancing silhouette grind my bones into dust and breaks the existence of my molecule into atoms with an algorithm that beat into yours submission.
I let the blazing hot cosmos of your heart and the star written in your eyes connect the two dots that live too far apart from each other on a world map. I let all of your 3am lows and all of your brokenness that terrifies you the most harvest the waves of emotions out of me that come with every ounce of certainty that, if i had the choice, i would still choose to give my heart to you; Minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, eons after eons but i don't have a grand gesture that can be seen from the city's skyline to show how much I care about you or perhaps i will never have.
Perhaps i have let in the beautiful evolution of strangulation that i didn't choose to fall in love with you; it happened without my consensus for the very things that separate you from the immortals like the flaws of having a smile that respirate a galaxy of warmest color that holds the purity of life or the imperfections of having a lot of undiscovered scrawled natural world within every misplaced hair that covers those hazel eyes of yours or the fault of having a divinity in every careless gesture that can light up the sky with a thousand tiny flashes with uncertainty. I will always fall for the hardest.
But then the ends find me, as it always does just like very last cup of coffee. May be I am blurred visions whose minds just shifts back to times or to traces of first times, last times, one more times. So we are what we will be, changing only what we could, only what we can, only what we should. It's only when we see will we ever know, if and when this change has done us any good. Because if I spend the rest of forever wondering what you feel like, that is a life I will be proud of, but will always prefers to have lived the other, because my Constellations are made up of every bits and pieces of Conversations that we had and a simple hope for more than stolen JPEG'S memory.
P.S- This post might be crap for you "but don't forget to appreciate my Drawing" :P :P
P.S.S - There are lots of things that i have missed this year including reading every one else post *Sincere Apologies * .