27
lastGoodBye, pendrawing



Sometime the way words mix memory and desire in some pseudo-random, uniform distributed fashion that every conditional rationality starts to elude me in countless ripple and I find myself somewhere out there, losing me in the chipped corners of my heart inside the soul geomerty that have marched on this time's faultless serenade only to leave pieces of dust and smudged fingerprints into the emptiness of no answer.

In these hours when people's heart weigh more than the Earth Mass, I find myself with my hands open, heart out rearranging hopeful sentences that can't be measured up neither can withstand any distance put between them and chasing down people who do not want to be found or profess absolutes (even though i have learnt not to). I let the nostalgia sip in and your dancing silhouette grind my bones into dust and breaks the existence of my molecule into atoms with an algorithm that beat into yours submission.

I let the blazing hot cosmos of your heart and the star written in your eyes connect the two dots that live too far apart from each other on a world map. I let all of your 3am lows and all of your brokenness that terrifies you the most harvest the waves of emotions out of me that come with every ounce of certainty that, if i had the choice, i would still choose to give my heart to you; Minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, eons after eons but i don't have a grand gesture that can be seen from the city's skyline to show how much I care about you or perhaps i will never have.

Perhaps i have let in the beautiful evolution of strangulation that i didn't choose to fall in love with you; it happened without my consensus for the very things that separate you from the immortals like the flaws of having a smile that respirate a galaxy of warmest color that holds the purity of life or the imperfections of having a lot of undiscovered scrawled natural world within every misplaced hair that covers those hazel eyes of yours or the fault of having a divinity in every careless gesture that can light up the sky with a thousand tiny flashes with uncertainty. I will always fall for the hardest.

But then the ends find me, as it always does just like very last cup of coffee. May be I am blurred visions whose minds just shifts back to times or to traces of first times, last times, one more times. So we are what we will be, changing only what we could, only what we can, only what we should. It's only when we see will we ever know, if and when this change has done us any good. Because if I spend the rest of forever wondering what you feel like, that is a life I will be proud of, but will always prefers to have lived the other, because my Constellations are made up of every bits and pieces of Conversations that we had and a simple hope for more than stolen JPEG'S memory.




P.S- This post might be crap for you "but don't forget to appreciate my Drawing"  :P :P 

P.S.S - There are lots of things that i have missed this year including reading every one else post *Sincere Apologies * . 

Post a Comment Blogger 27

  1. now the drawing was really good..:)
    Belated wishes for new year...:)
    Regards..

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    1. Thank you so much :) and happy new year to you too (belated) :)

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  2. I have been wondering where u disappeared! Good to see u back with the hazel eyes and cosmic connections!!
    p.s. the drawing is good!

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    1. i didn't disappeared just that this year i transformed into winter time bird who flew south :d .. Thank you so much for still getting connected and reading it :)

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  3. Great to have you back, Ankur!
    No, the post is not crap. Awesome as always!
    The last para is something! Nice illustration.
    Keep writing. Saw the look of your main site. Updated recently, right?

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    Replies
    1. feels great to be back too ..
      Thank you so much :) yeah still doing it !

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  4. That's really interesting. Evokes some subdued emotions. Welcome back to writing and yes, the drawing is nice.

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  5. Wow .. have to say your pen brings so much of subdued emotions in everyone's heart .. simply beautiful :)

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  6. Touching & beautiful as usual, Ankur.
    People's hearts weigh more than Earth's mass! That's the weight of emotions...
    May there be no blurred visions, rather real Constellations with more than stolen memory...

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  7. Good to see you back. :)
    Good illustration and awesome writing like before.
    Keep blogging.

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  8. Omg! You sketch!! Coooool!! :D Nice post Ankur ;)

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  9. The drawing is lovely as is the post. Great to see you back Ankur :)

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  10. Well written and nice choice of words :)

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  11. Great to have you back Ankur .. :)
    No the post is not crap.. at all ! Loved the soul geometry, heart heavier than the earth mass, hot cosmos heart , star written eyes ...... and the stolen JPEG memory wali last line ..
    Intense as always .. hazel eyes as always ... :)
    And I loved it as Always :) (h)

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  12. PS . the drawing .... beautiful connected dots .... conveying more than words...... as always :)

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  13. The drawing is quite good Ankur. Keep them coming. And, the writing is wonderful as always.... :)

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  14. as usual.. its a lovely writing Ankur. good to see you back :)
    and, yes, the sketch is really nice! cheers! :)

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