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goodbye


10, 9, 8…

We are all moments away from something new, the clock keeps ticking and ten minute later you will be leaving and I don’t have a reason to ask you to stay. I don’t have a heart-moving words; nor do I have a grand gesture to show you how much I care about you. I saw the entire universe of galaxies, and I thought of you. I wonder what my warm eyes were looking at, are they? Doting around the stars looking for someone to reciprocate the exhilaration that runs through my veins in form of memories of the year spent with you. May be I want to scream at the top of my lungs for everyone to hear or the confetti to be thrown from the clouds written with all these words that try to shine with sincerity.


7, 8, 6…

I’m sorry that I never wrote anything perfect for you so that I can give it to you, not even a simple goodbye. And truthfully, I don’t know what I would say in return if you wished me goodbye, the usual best of luck with your career and for your life. But if I could, I would have liked to tell you other things.

I would have liked to say that a perfect goodbye would be me giving these unsent letters and you reading these as if we are synchronized within the fabric of these letters and word. I would have wanted one beautiful memory of you before you left me, in small moments and instances stored inside my rib cage in form of that cheesy smile that slip past your lips and the scrawled natural world within every misplaced hair that covers those hazel eyes of yours. I would have wanted to say that I love every part of you even those aspects of yourself that you doubt and those you keep hidden. I would have liked to share every trauma that have been etched into your soul; but I don’t have that privilege. For once, I didn’t feel that waves of grief wash over me with their favorite flavor of bitterness and anger.


5, 4, 3…

I’m sorry mulled wine and champagne have lured me into thinking. I’m sorry that I have never written about you with beautiful words perfectly and for never telling you that I miss your outline every time I see you leaving me, I’m sorry that no one knows the taste of nostalgia that coats your complexion. I’m sorry for the way I acted once out of frustration, I’m sorry for missing you when I shouldn’t. I’m sorry for so many things; I’m sorry for being sorry.

I am aware that you will be gone after this blink of an eye. I’m aware that you never needed me as much as I wanted you to. I am aware that every blank pages that I stained with the feelings that holds me so tightly will never amount much into your life. I’m aware that you didn’t wish me birthday and reminded me that how little I meant to you. I am aware that I only have you in small moments. I am aware that this is the place we have reached, and I’m aware that this is where you will be gone on a different path never to cross again.


2…

Time will slip away through words and songs on earphone. All I can do is wish you well, and hope that I don’t just become a name to you, because you will always be more than that to me.

You will be always the one who stole my heart and became the mirror radiating aliveness into my soul.


1…

May be I didn’t deserved to be loved too. But if you have a pen, take a memo and note it down:

"Once you’re loved in your totality supremely with every fiber of mine."


0...

Because of that, I sincerely say this honest and final goodbye.



P.s:-  Probably the last post i'm writing under Love Dairy category. may be i don't have words to write anymore. It's been a really good run from last one year under this category. Thank you all for reading and bearing it <3. Maybe the benzos are sinking as well .

Post a Comment Blogger 32

  1. Ten minutes converted into a lifetime of parting :(

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    1. sometime its just like that .. ! thank you for reading sabeeha :)

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  2. you have made me speechless [-( .. your write words that are so much filled with pure feelings .. i'm held spellbound by this line "Once you’re loved in your totality supremely with every fiber of mine." :)

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and liking it that much :)

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  3. I'm just reading it over and over .. every words seems so straight from your heart .I'm speechless too. i just hope you are not stopping by linking your talent with someone :-?

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  4. that was so heart felt Ankur!! whatever u decide to write...im always going to be reading it.....

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    1. Thank you so much .. it's always feels so nice to have some one who always encourages you :)

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  5. The last 10 minutes..beautifully described..straight from the heart

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  6. Hats off to you Ankur!
    The depth of your writing stuns me.
    Keep writing more my friend!

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  7. It's not healthy to love someone this deeply. May you find someone who is worthy of your love and can reciprocate it equallym

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    1. this post is just fictional .. Thank you for your read :)

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  8. Effective piece of writing ! And I believe though it would be good for a fiction, in real life one should never say those final lines for the life which has been selected and blessed to live life in this world.

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    1. thank you .. yeah it was fictional :)

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  9. literally I m speechless..I don't know what exactly I should write to praise u and your writing...any comment would be an understatement..really amazed by your words..hats off...

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    1. Thank you so much .. :) any comment made is never understatement .. everything has its value unknown :)

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  10. creative but sad. Why one has to part? Sad truth of life.

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    1. yeah .. even i don't know .. thank you for your read :)

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  11. If the character whispers as a body-less soul before you, writing becomes live and easy. I think that is your way of writing. Very nice going.

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  12. But, why the last post for Love Diary? I am sure you'll have lots more gems to share soon, Ankur!
    Keep writing & sharing with us :)

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    1. sometime it's better to stop and start something new .. fear of monochrome .. thank you for you read :)

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  13. Hi ,

    I love your blog and so I have nominated you for the 'SUNSHINE' award, hope you accept it.

    Check here for more details http://www.ananyatales.com/2014/04/first-blog-award.html

    Thank you :)

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    Replies
    1. i'm feeling glad that you liked this blog so much .. Thank you so much ananya :) definitely .. :)

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  14. was d first post i read!! and it is filled with so much emotion! u wrote a life time of flashback aptly in those 10seconds! am totally speechless!!

    http://swathishenoy.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your visit and read .. keep reading :)

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  15. I am speechless! I am sure she can't stop herself from falling in love, the instant she reads this! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the read .. :) i won't let such situation to come in real life :d

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