TANGLED VIBES

Sometime the way words mix memory and desire in some pseudo-random, uniform distributed fashion that every conditional rationality starts to elude me in countless ripple and I find myself somewhere out there, losing me in the chipped corners of my heart inside the soul geomerty that have marched on this time's faultless serenade only to leave pieces of dust and smudged fingerprints into the emptiness of no answer. In these hours when people's heart weigh more than the Earth Mass, I find myself with my hands open, heart out rearranging hopeful sentences that can't be measured up neither can withstand any distance put between them and chasing down people who do not want to be found or profess absolutes (even though i have learnt not to). I let the nostalgia sip in and your dancing silhouette grind my bones into dust and breaks the existence of my molecule into atoms with an algorithm that beat into yours submission. I let the blazing hot cosmos of your heart a...

“Closing quotes”, “Stretching out sentences”, “Indenting paragraphs”, Tucked between the feathery eyelids. You say it, I see it, write it finely with pen, between quantum leaps of for-get-me not of my racing, pacing, on for miles heart, even when I barely know it. A so cherished gift you give, in a momentary gaze, yet seldomly seen.

आज एक ख्याल आया फिर बरबस इस दिल मैं, तनहा फिर हुआ मै भरी महफ़िल मैं. सोचा तू है एक उदासी या किसी की अधूरी ग़ज़ल, या मेरी ही तन्हाई का महज़ एक रुक हुआ पल. शर्मीला हो गया चाँद, बुरखे मैं बाहें अब बादल, दर्द इश्क मै देखा इतना , जितना विधवा की पलकों का बहता काजल. सुनाई कविता किसी तारे ने चांदनी को, हो गयी वो उसकी कायल, चाँद भी हो गया जब अकेला , बेदर्द दर्द भी हुआ तब घायल. रातों मै बिछ गयी रुसवाई , जब दिलों मै आई बेवफाई, इश्क चाँद से ही था चांदनी को , जाने क्यूँ लफ़्ज़ों मै न कह पाई. अश्क बहते हैं आज तक उसके,हम कहते उन्हें चाँद के दाग, इश्क हुआ था सदियों पहेले उसे, लगी है आज तक एक आग. सदियों तक बहें उसकी पलकें , भर गए सात समंदर, खोयी वही चांदनी है तू, इस चाँद सा मेरा दिल का मंज़र

With the advent of flames, traced back to you. The dreams that beget pain and inexplicable tranquility. And I see you standing in dense mist-in a place inaccessible, isolated and every few nights shattering my cozy, oblivious sheaths of escapist solitaire by your resounding echoing laugh, your wicked twitch of eye, your subtle brushing of a random, stray strand of hair and then smiling again, delving me further deeper into the vertigo of nothingness, where I lose my existence and burn and incinerate into cinders that buoyage forth into deep grey skies painted with my sense of loss, in quest of you. WHERE ART THOU? Lost? Oblivious to Love? Now I know why stars burn. Every night, they too lost their beloved-comets who went on their quest leading those stars alone. Shame and guilt over-rides a Comet's mind or heart (if she has any).The reason why the tail of a comet always faces away from the stars. I know you've got nothing to do with whatever is written here, yet so en...

Sometime I feel, Why can’t I speak, of the sky and the worlds that I see Perhaps my words are as little as me. I see oceans so deep, filled with broken people’s love weep; Clouds so dark because of the rain that break their heart; A flying ship, stars that can shoot, Perhaps my life is best spent astute. I see vast blue skies, blue due to million spoken lies; Poor planets cries in form of rains, for the moon when his/her heart pains; but they heals with dry eyes and their rings again spin, Perhaps my patience runs thin. I see flow of God’s art, art that can rip your heart apart; Sparks so tiny, Engulfing a forest into flames huge and shiny; A foes that can fry, friends that can fight, Perhaps my waifs never outlast after night. I see a seeming sad, silent moan, inside holding a mighty teary cyclone; Waves rising so high, just to last for a minute before they die; but tonight I speak, and writes this rejected bleak, because the dark-space is nigh,...

Lately I have been consuming too much of coffee so that my mind and heart can learn the tightrope of symbiosis. I leave the city when it’s half asleep so that I can sit alone in the coffee shop around the corner; when the lights on the highway shines a little brighter than usual; when I feel my heart get lost in the world that isn’t half as bad as they make it out to be. I take a sip of coffee and feel warm liquid wash down into the pit of my stomach. I try to leave my mind outside these four walls that imprison me here. There is a war that goes on between my two realities; it catches me off guard when I’m tired of dreaming out loud. One cup in and I feel the knots in my mind loosen. I feel there is so much more than the blue skies. There is this parallel world in parallel far away dreams, perhaps a free falling dream, mine, yours, Zero gravity, dreams; dream in which anything true or conscious is blurred, all thin lines are erased, a dream in which you and me or two sub-co...

I was so caught in silver afternoon trance that I thought I can understand all-contained unspoken thoughts of yours before it comes from those pink slippers lips, perhaps I could grasp it from the hazel eyes of yours, but I didn’t, not really. The halves that I understood was only the smudginess of your kohl and semi-precious eagerness of yours that halved me into half. I didn’t realize, I didn’t know that two paths diverged in those mirror utopia, with nothing but the visible spectrum of in-between bits, towards the memory of whole bits of you and gory bits of me.